Wednesday, November 25, 2015

ABCs of Adoption: U is for Unexpected

   Learn to expect  the unexpected, especially where children are concerned.   Going into the adoption process I wasn't sure what to expect and I can't say whether the experience met my expectations.   There are definitely things I expected, but there have also been some curve balls along the way.  

One of the biggest surprises for me though was the reactions from others I have shared our journey with.   I write this blog mostly for me as a way to process information and events, and to share details with our friends and family.  I don't have a huge following and I don't do anything to develop one.  I try to share the good along with the bad while still maintaining some level of privacy.   What I didn't expect when starting this was to become an inspiration or role model for others.  The first time I had somebody tell me they made the decision to foster to adopt based on information I shared with them I didn't know how to respond.  This information came after a rough patch and to know that my venting could inspire others was shocking.   I figured my ranting would scare people away not make them want to follow in our footsteps.   

It catches me off guard when somebody who has read my blog or who I have spoken to in person tells me that they admire or respect what we are doing and how adoption has touched their lives.   Part of me feels we are just like any parents - we have good days and bad days, we love our child, teach him right from wrong, try to protect him and we will fight for him to get what he needs to be successful.   Then a friend reminds me that no, not all parents meet the above description.  

Parenthood is hard.  It doesn't matter if you are a biological parent, adoptive parent, foster parent, or step parent; you may have become a parent for the first time as a teenager or in your 40s , we are all part of the same club and we all should be admired and respected for taking on the tough challenge of raising children.  

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