Friday, November 20, 2015

ABCs of Adoption: Q is for Questions

Sometimes it seems like we are swimming in a sea of questions.   We ask ourselves questions on a daily basis, we are asked questions by others, and we are bombarded with questions by junior.   Below is a sampling of some of these questions.

Questions you ask yourself

  • What type of adoption is right for me? 
  • What characteristics/traits do I want in my child?
  • What characteristics/traits don't I want?
  • What would cause me to not move forward with the adoption?
  • What have I gotten myself into?
  • When will I be able to sleep again?
  • Am I crazy?

Questions you get from others
  • Why did you choose to adopt?
  • How long was your child in foster care?
  • Why was he/she in foster care?
  • Aren't you worried there is something wrong with him?
  • Are you sure you want to adopt an older child?
  • How are things going?
  • What can I do to help?
Questions your child asks you?
  • Why can't I live with my birth family?
  • Why did I choose you for a family?
  • What happened to the family you were born to?
  • Can you call my birth mom?
As I am writing this he asked the following questions:
  • What are you doing?
  • Why did you write a question mark?
  • Who are you sending this to?
When I told him I was writing a list of questions he came up with these to be added:

  • Who was the president in the 1940s?
  • How poisonous is a black widow?
  • Where did they make the first beer?
  • How long did it take the Space Needle to get built?
  • Which do you prefer an orange tree or an apple tree?
  • What's the prettiest flower?
  • What's our car - A Ford, a BMW, a Honda or a Toyota?
Note to self... don't write posts while junior is still awake.

Questions vary as you go through the process and depending on the day, the week or the month the answer to the questions will vary.   Some are easy to answer, some we choose to answer vaguely, and some are very difficult to answer. How do you answer the question "How are things going?" when you are going through a difficult patch and it is taking everything in your power not to lose control on a daily basis.   Please don't be offended if you feel like you are being blown off by an answer to a question.   It probably isn't you.

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