Tuesday, November 17, 2015

ABCs of Adoption: O is for Open

We are an open book when it comes to adoption, I think this blog is a good example of that.  While we don't share all of the details about junior's past in public forums we do share the highs and the lows.   His past and his story belongs to him, it is not our place to talk about it.  

We talk frequently at home about adoption and what it means.  We talk about his birth mom.  We talk about previous foster families he lived with.   He knows it is ok to talk about his past, it is ok to miss people from his past, and it is ok to feel that life isn't fair.

With all this openness the one thing that is closed is the adoption.   Open adoptions are very common in infant adoptions, with foster to adopt they are less common but they do occur.   An open adoption is when the birth family and adoptee maintain contact and potentially have visits.  The contact may with a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, sibling, etc.   it really depends on the situation.   In some situations it is decided that continued contact is not in the best interest of the child which leads to a closed adoption.   The only person from junior's past that we have had contact with is one of his previous foster moms.  It is hard to answer questions about why he can't talk with previous foster families or his birth family in a way a 7 year old understands.  

With social media it isn't possible for adoptions to stay closed forever.  Once a child is old enough they may establish contact with their birth family through social media.   This does worry me, but I am hoping we have at least 5 years before we have to cross that bridge.  

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