Thursday, September 25, 2014

Overwhelmed by Emotions

The last few days I have been on the verge of tears over simple things.   Oh and I should say they are mostly happy tears.   I read an article that a friend posted to Facebook about siblings that were adopted and then reconnected after decades - queue the tears.   I hear a song on the radio and I get choked up - maybe I should stop listening to sad country songs.

The outpouring of messages via all formats have been very moving and touching.   Offers to help and questions about what we need are coming in from every direction.   At this point I have no idea what we need.  Until we know what junior has we won't know what we need.   We have been told he has a ton of stuff but we don't know what it is.   We may be buying a bedroom set from the current foster family if it can fit in a car, if not we need to make a trip to American Furniture Warehouse to buy furniture.   We don't know if he has a winter coat or boots  that fit him.  While I am touched by all the offers to help I don't know what to say.  

And the biggest emotional trigger has come directly from junior.   We haven't been sure how he would take the news, if he liked us and wants to live with us.   Well all that was answered this week.  Junior asked his current foster family if he could call us as he wanted to ask us if we would be his mom and dad.   Hearing this broke my heart.  Not only did he ask once but 4 times.    We are meeting him for lunch on Sunday so he can ask us.   Not sure I will make it through that lunch without crying.  

Monday, September 22, 2014

I love it when a plan comes together

The weekend with junior was a huge success.   He biked, learned how to throw a spiral, went swimming, and met some of his future cousins.    It was exhausting for us, he seems to have endless amounts of energy.  

On Friday I went to a work event while Dave picked him up.   I  was told as I was heading home that junior had a surprise for me.   Dave had told him my birthday was earlier in the week so he planned a surprise party for me.   I came in and the house was dark and quiet except for a candle burning in the living room.  As I entered the room they jumped up and shouted "Happy Birthday!"   I then was told to sit down and he was going to make me a snack.    I had a salad with ranch dressing,  yogurt and apple slices with peanut butter.  

It was very sweet but at the same time I was thinking that he has learned that he needs to take care of adults and not the other way around.   He is very self reliant and wants to do everything on his own versus wanting to be taken care of.   This is very common with kids in foster care.  

Given the success of the last 2 visits, we had  a phone call with his team today to figure out a move-in date.  That date has been set for 2 weeks from today.  This is also the day before his birthday.  It is exciting and a little scary all at the same time.  

We now have 2 weeks to turn this into a gold and red Spiderman room.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

How our match happened

Going into this process we were given a rough outline of how things happen but were also told that no two instances were the same and there are no guarantees.   Since June we have been inquiring on kids with profiles on two of the main adoption sites and were also getting leads directly from our case worker.   We had an open inquiry on a 7 year old boy, when our case worker followed up with his social worker we found out about junior.  

The social worker thought that we would be a much better match for a 5 year old boy that she was working with.   On Thursday we were given brief backgrounds about both boys and we agreed that the 5 year old sounded like a better fit for us.   We set up a call with our CW and his SW for Monday afternoon.  Additional information was shared, we asked questions, they asked questions and the meeting ended with our being told they were having a staffing on Wednesday morning to determine next steps.  

I was about to walk into a meeting at work that Wednesday morning when my phone rang and it was an unknown number.   I stepped into a conference room my heart beating a mile a minute to be told that they thought we would be a great fit for junior and they had a strange proposition for us.   Due to circumstances they were working on a tight time frame to find a home for the kid.   They were looking for somebody to do respite for him the following weekend.   For kids in foster care if parents need a night off for work or other reasons only another licensed foster family can be used this is called respite.    We agreed.

This is not normally how things happen.  The process normally goes from a phone call that you have been selected to having a formal presentation after which you decided if you want to move forward, then a transition plan is put in place.  The first meeting usually takes place for a couple of hours at a park or ice cream shop and you slowly work up to overnights.  We were going straight to spending 24 hours with him.  Yikes!

Thankfully that meeting went very well and yesterday we had the formal presentation.   He comes for 2 nights this weekend and hopefully get a more finalized date early next week.    So yeah this was a bit backwards and not at all what we were expecting but hey that's what life always seems to throw at us.  

Oh and for legal and privacy reasons we will not be sharing the kid's name on public forums like here or Facebook.  He may continue to go by junior or we may come up with another alias for him.  

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Guess What Happened Today?

We haven't played a game on here in a very long time, I think we should.   Can you guess from these pictures what happened today (there is a common thread)?

Yup that's right, we are officially matched!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As luck would have it we actually found out about this little guy the day I quit my job 3 weeks ago.  So it has been a crazy emotional roller coaster the last couple of weeks.  We had the official meeting today and are working out a transition plan.   It is all very exciting and about the best birthday present ever!  

I will post more details later just needed to share this exciting update.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Emotional Roller Coaster

I realize it has been a while since I've posted and when two people mentioned that to me I decided it was time to provide a little update.   The last 6 weeks have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me and this has very little to do with the adoption.    Things have been pretty status quo there and I have learned to be patient and not let it get to me, at least I thought I was, but I'm getting ahead of myself here.

Over the last couple of months I decided it was time for me to move on from the company I have worked at for almost a decade.  I knew when we moved to Colorado that my career advancement opportunities were limited and after a lot of discussions with Dave we decided not to wait until things moved forward on the adoption front and to start searching for a new job.  Searching for a new job is stressful.   I am very fortunate that the right job came along.  It is a step up career wise which is great and very close to home which is better.

I have enjoyed working from home but I find myself getting lonely.  Days will go by and I haven't left the house or spoken to other people aside from Dave, and he doesn't always want to hear me babble.   I miss the social aspect of working in an office.  The downside of working in an office is I won't have these two to keep me company.

I am sure they will adjust.  

The other big development over the last couple of weeks is having to deal with medical issues.   At the beginning of the month I attended our annual customer and partner conference where I had to present.  This is fairly normal for me and this trip marked the end of about 3 weeks of business trips. On the day last day when I was presenting I wasn't feeling well and just chalked it up to exhaustion.  As I was finishing my last session things got considerably worse and the only thing going through my mind was there is only 5 minutes left in the presentation - DON'T PASS OUT.   There is nothing worse than presenting while you are experiencing chest pains, sweating, and shortness of breath.

I thought sitting down after my sessions would make things better - it didn't.  In the end I called a coworker over and was rushed to the ER.  Not the way I wanted the conference to end.   Good news I didn't have a heart attack - which is what I thought was happening.  Bad news I missed my flight home, and a Cubs game with the family.

Over the next couple of weeks I was back and forth to the doctor and cardiologist trying to figure out what went was wrong with me.   During this time I did very little but sleep and work.   Everything was A-OK with my heart in the end they gave me a diagnosis of anxiety and I  have been on Celexa for the last two weeks.

While I thought I was handling all the uncertainty around the adoption and the job search well I guess my body thought otherwise.  It appears you can have anxiety without actually feeling anxious or panicky.   I am happy to say that I once again feel normal and am starting to get back into a normal schedule.  Of course all this changes in 11 days when I start my new job.

In the meantime, next week I have a week of "Dawn Time" to relax and unwind.  Dave is off on a business trip so this may be the last week I get all to myself.