Sunday, February 23, 2014

Book Review

I've been doing a lot of reading lately on adoption.  There are so many books out there some are good and some are not so good, which is the case for any subject.   Since there are so many different types of adoption finding good relevant books can be a bit challenging.  Sadly it doesn't seem like there are as many books dedicated on adopting older children or adopting through foster care.  Many seem to focus on international and newborn adoption.   While there are some similarities attaching to a newborn is very different than forming attachment with a 6 year old.

Here is a brief overview of the books I have read so far and my thoughts on them.

In on It:  What Adoptive Parents Would like you to Know About Adoption
This book is intended for family and friends of adoptive parents yet I found it a very useful starting point.  There was lots of helpful advice and anecdotes on what can be expected throughout the process and the first few years.  It was a very short easy to read book and I would definitely recommend that both adoptive parents and their extended families read this book.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
I purchased this as it was recommended by Amazon as a book that is bought along with In On It.  I should have done more research before purchasing this.  I wasn't able to get through the book.   The overall tone was very negative to me and it seemed like the author said that any negative or positive behavior exhibited by an adopted child is because they are adopted.   There are some behaviors that are a normal part of child development whether a child is adopted or not, this book seemed to ignore that aspect.   I am not delusional and I do realize there will be negative points along the way but focusing only on the negative aspects of adoption is not something I am willing to do, I want to look at the positive side of thing as well.  

The Connected Child
Targeted toward the behavioral and emotional issues that can arise, especially in an older child adoption.   At times I found the advice applicable for all parents and not just parents of adopted children   This book provided great techniques on connecting to a child in appropriate ways based on their age and developmental level.  Many of the techniques are probably best suited to children under 8, which was perfect for us.   While there were some negative scenarios I did not find it nearly as negative as 20 things.  

I have a pile of additional books to read, as I read them I will post additional reviews.   Next on my list are Scream Free Parenting and Adopting Through Foster Care.  If you have suggestions for books on adoption or parenting in general please share them.  


Anonymous said...

I would highly suggest Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray

Dawn said...

Thanks for the recommendation, I will add that to the list.