Tuesday, March 24, 2015

It was bound to happen sooner or later

Based on the suggestion of junior's therapist we gave him a photo of his birth mom over the weekend.   This was a tough thing to do as we weren't sure how to react and whether or not it would cause a regression in behaviors.   I decided to give it to him at night in case there was a melt down he could then go right to bed and it wouldn't be an all day issue.  

As I expected he got very sad and emotional when he saw the photo but bed time was not a disaster.   He did cry and say that he missed his mom and then it happened.  I heard for the first time "You're not my real mom."   I knew this day would come and those words would be uttered but I just didn't know when it would happen.   I honestly expected it to be when he was angry with us, not just upset and missing his birth mom.   I imagine I will hear this many more times over the years and I will have to learn how to respond.   I do not remember what exactly I said to him in the moment, I did try my best to acknowledge his feelings and let him know that it is perfectly normal to miss his mom.   

We do have more photos but I need to get them scanned into digital format before I hand them over.   I have heard horror stories about kids destroying the only copy of photos that existed and I do not want that to happen.  Should a photo get destroyed we will definitely have a back up.   For now he seems happy with the 1 photo he has.   

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