ABCs of Adoption: E is for Emotions

If you ever want to go on an emotional roller coaster then adopt a child. The number of emotions you feel while going through the process and then after is immense.   Here's a brief list of some of the emotions felt before being placed:

• Anxiety
• Frustration 
• Worry
• Doubt
• Excitement
• Relief

After being placed in addition to all of the above there is also:

• Awe
• Love
• Dread
• Grief
• Helpless
• Hopeful
• Vulnerable
• Surprised
• Amused
• Proud 
• Annoyed
• Anger
• Scared

It is possible within a brief period of time to feel all of these or go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows.  

A few weeks ago I got a call from school at the start of the day, the day after a very bad day at school.   The dread seeing the caller ID was followed quickly by relief and surprise when I was told junior wanted some words of encouragement from me.   We had a brief conversation and I sent an email to Dave saying how proud I was that he asked to call for me and I was hopeful that it would be a good day.   Fast forward 45 minutes and another call from the school and all those emotions are gone and the only thing left is feeling helpless and frustrated.

The one constant through all of these emotions is love.  While there are days that we are frustrated, annoyed, angry and hearing shouts of "I hate you" we continue to love this little boy.   We tell him that while we don't like the way he is acting and are upset we still love him.