Welcome to Parenthood

I am starting to feel like less of an imposter when it comes to being a mom.  It has been hard that junior has been off school, Dave has been on FMLA and I have been at work.  Trying to leave by  4 so I can get home and spend some time with junior and give Dave a much needed break.  

Yesterday was his first full day of school, he should have started on Monday but the school had questions and we had to have an interim/emergency IEP meeting.   Meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday we had a plan that everybody was happy with and we re-convene in 60 days after they have a chance to observe.   The teacher reported when I picked junior up that the day was perfect - which was great to hear.

We were looking forward to today but instead we are home sick.  I was woken up at 3 am because junior had a nightmare, he then started complaining that his head hurt and I realized he was burning up.   Temperature over 100, it has since dropped but not back to normal so rest and relaxation it is.

I guess this is part of parenthood.   Other welcome to parenthood moments of the past few weeks:

• Temper tantrum when trying to get up and out the door. 
• Being accidentally elbowed in the face when trying to put him down to bed.
• Pee, poop and vomit in the bathtub.  

Lessons Learned

I have been a mom for 9 days and have learned quite a bit in that time.  Here is just a sampling:

• Bathtime is hard.  Baths are generally too short, I use the wrong shampoo, or sometimes even the wrong tub.   
• Bedtime is harder.    Every night he wants to sleep in our bed.  This is not an option. 
• Paddy is finally learning to play fetch by watching us play football in the back yard.   
• It is hard playing football with my son and fetch with Paddy at the same time. 
• Band aids make everything better. 
• Junior is super smart.  He quickly learned that we write down things we need to buy at the store on a chalk board.  He has written down a Lego batmobile and washcloths as apparently we do not have enough of these.  
• I need to figure out more creative ways to say no. 
• It is very difficult to hear some of the things he has to say.   I imagine this is only going to get harder as he learns to trust us more and shares more.
• I'm a little jealous that he seems to be calling Dave "dad" periodically but I'm still not mom.   
• Spontaneous hugs are awesome.  We don't get them frequently but when we do they rock.  
• He takes after me in that he loves photography. Here is a photo he took on our first family vacation.  
  

4 days In

We have had a small child living in the house with us since Monday evening.  The move-in went very smoothly.  Three cars and we had bunk beds, a dresser and all of juniors belongings.  If we didn't buy the bed from the previous family we likely could have managed in 1 car but the bedroom set is great.  

Day one the top bunk was requested but since then he has used the bottom bunk.  Mostly because when he is on the bottom bunk I can get into bed with him and cuddle as he goes to sleep.   Some of the most touching conversations have occurred as he falls asleep.  He shares his fears and hopes with me.   This little boy definitely has my heart.  

Tuesday was junior's 6th birthday, I took the day off and we spent the day together as a family.  A visit to Build-A-Bear resulted in a Batman bear that now lives with us.   We had pizza twice and the day ended with a vanilla and strawberry cake.  

We have all been adjusting to life as a family.  There is lots of learning to do and we are setting up routines.   We are learning what he likes and what he doesn't.   He is learning to trust us and feel safe. We are trying to explain the difference between needs and wants.  Junior needs fall and winter clothes, he says he needs a lego batmobile.   We feel that is more of want - but we have ordered it anyways.   This kid loves legos and we thought he had a bunch but he doesn't.   He does have a lot of remote control cars but those only entertain him for so long.  

Dave & I have been touched by the numerous messages and gifts from friends and family near and far; old and new. This has been such an emotional time and getting the words of encouragement, texts, phone calls, well wishes, etc are simply amazing.  We have definitely felt the love from all of you and words really can't express how thankful and appreciative we are.


Junior wants me to say:  "Batman teddy bear I love you."   jufdhtrtefrtrerter\bfbvvgvcffftfgfgfdtdrdfdes

Metamorphosis

When junior asked for a gold Spiderman room I was at a loss.   Spiderman is blue and red how on earth is this going to work.  The more I thought about it  plan started to come together.  Sometimes the ideas in my head don't work out the way I envision them but in this case it did.  Thanks to the wonders of Etsy I was able to make his dream a reality.  Well we won't know until Monday if it matches what he wants but I sure hope so.  

A few weeks ago this was my office.  

Over the span of a week I slowly moved everything out 

We had the room painted gold with red trim

Wall decals from Etsy complete the transformation.

Funny story about the large personalized spidey decal.   I ordered it in the morning and then that afternoon we realized that we had been spelling junior's name wrong.   Oops.   Luckily I was able to contact the seller just in time to make the correction.  

Random Drunk Musings From An Airport

OK I'm not really drunk but I am drinking at the airport.  I am curious it this will result in more random Google search hits.  

• Today I am completing my last business trip before junior moves in.    And this may be the last trip of the year.   The sad part is that this means I won't hit gold on United this year.   Yeah, I know first world problems.    I will likely end the year with a little over 40K miles which is still a whole lot of miles.    
• Conversation between Dave & I this week
• Dave:  I have a dentist appointment on Thursday at 9, should we leave the door open for the handyman. 
• Me:  Um   what are you going to do with junior?  Is he going to sit in the waiting room.  
• Dave:   Oh good point, maybe I should reschedule.   
• Life is clearly going to be changing for us. 
• Why don't all schools offer full day K?   The idea of half day perplexes me.    We are trying to figure out if we can get junior into the closed full day program at our school.    Luckily we have others advocating on his behalf.  
• This is our last weekend as DINKS (dual income no kids).   We are spending it by visiting my 45th state - Oklahoma!   Isn't that what everybody does before they become parents. 
• Why don't family therapists return phone calls?
• MMMM margaritas are tasty. Do I have to stop drinking margaritas when I become a mom? 
• OMG I'm gonna be a mom next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (those added exclamations points are for Dave as he really likes lots of !!!!!!!!! in sentences).    

Overwhelmed by Emotions

The last few days I have been on the verge of tears over simple things.   Oh and I should say they are mostly happy tears.   I read an article that a friend posted to Facebook about siblings that were adopted and then reconnected after decades - queue the tears.   I hear a song on the radio and I get choked up - maybe I should stop listening to sad country songs.

The outpouring of messages via all formats have been very moving and touching.   Offers to help and questions about what we need are coming in from every direction.   At this point I have no idea what we need.  Until we know what junior has we won't know what we need.   We have been told he has a ton of stuff but we don't know what it is.   We may be buying a bedroom set from the current foster family if it can fit in a car, if not we need to make a trip to American Furniture Warehouse to buy furniture.   We don't know if he has a winter coat or boots  that fit him.  While I am touched by all the offers to help I don't know what to say.  

And the biggest emotional trigger has come directly from junior.   We haven't been sure how he would take the news, if he liked us and wants to live with us.   Well all that was answered this week.  Junior asked his current foster family if he could call us as he wanted to ask us if we would be his mom and dad.   Hearing this broke my heart.  Not only did he ask once but 4 times.    We are meeting him for lunch on Sunday so he can ask us.   Not sure I will make it through that lunch without crying.  

I love it when a plan comes together

The weekend with junior was a huge success.   He biked, learned how to throw a spiral, went swimming, and met some of his future cousins.    It was exhausting for us, he seems to have endless amounts of energy.  

On Friday I went to a work event while Dave picked him up.   I  was told as I was heading home that junior had a surprise for me.   Dave had told him my birthday was earlier in the week so he planned a surprise party for me.   I came in and the house was dark and quiet except for a candle burning in the living room.  As I entered the room they jumped up and shouted "Happy Birthday!"   I then was told to sit down and he was going to make me a snack.    I had a salad with ranch dressing,  yogurt and apple slices with peanut butter.  

It was very sweet but at the same time I was thinking that he has learned that he needs to take care of adults and not the other way around.   He is very self reliant and wants to do everything on his own versus wanting to be taken care of.   This is very common with kids in foster care.  

Given the success of the last 2 visits, we had  a phone call with his team today to figure out a move-in date.  That date has been set for 2 weeks from today.  This is also the day before his birthday.  It is exciting and a little scary all at the same time.  

We now have 2 weeks to turn this into a gold and red Spiderman room.