It's been 1 month

My how time flies.   I can't believe 1 month ago at this time I was leaving work and headed out to move junior into our house.  It has been quite the month filled with ups and downs, sickness, injuries and adjustments.  We are still working on getting into a routine but that is easier said than done.   Between delays with enrollment school holidays, staff development days, and sickness - junior hasn't been in school for a full week this entire month.

This week he started at the before school program 3 days a week.  I am trying to adjust my schedule to start by 7 AM and be out of work by 3:30 on most days so I can pick him up from school.   I am an early riser but I typically would get up and exercise before work, I need to figure out how to work that into the schedule.  

Dave & I have our first date night coming up on Saturday.  Junior is going to respite and we are going to see a movie and out to dinner.   I thought about just staying home and sleeping but what's the fun in that.  

Yesterday the team came over for our first monthly visit - his caseworker, our caseworker and the lawyer.    They stressed the importance of us taking time out for ourselves and date nights.   We will be getting introduced to some other families in the area that are also adopting for play dates and respite.   In addition we need to find a regular babysitter for monthly or bi-monthly date nights.  

One super positive thing from the meeting yesterday was junior's caseworker commented on how happy he seemed.  The last few times she saw him he wasn't very happy.   I am taking that as good news.  



 

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month.   During the month I will try and post more often about our lives as future adoptive parents as well as general information about adoption.

To kick it off I will share some of the milestones we have experienced over the past month.  When we told people that we were looking to adopt an older child a few responded that we would miss out on so many milestones.  Yes we won't see his first steps or hear his first words but there are plenty of other milestones we are celebrating and experiencing.

• The first Halloween as a family
• The first time he called me Momma - it still doesn't happen a lot but it happens once in a while. 
• His first fever
• Sleepless nights - yes we have had many of these so those that thought we were missing out you can rest assured that we have been exhausted this last month
• First temper tantrum 
• Getting hit in the face by a football
• First movie seen as a family - Alexander and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Very Bad Day
• First family vacation to Estes Park

There will be many more milestones in the coming months - some positive, some negative, but they are still milestones that we will remember.   Coming up this month will be my first business trip, first house guest, first hockey game and our first Thanksgiving.  

Welcome to Parenthood

I am starting to feel like less of an imposter when it comes to being a mom.  It has been hard that junior has been off school, Dave has been on FMLA and I have been at work.  Trying to leave by  4 so I can get home and spend some time with junior and give Dave a much needed break.  

Yesterday was his first full day of school, he should have started on Monday but the school had questions and we had to have an interim/emergency IEP meeting.   Meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday we had a plan that everybody was happy with and we re-convene in 60 days after they have a chance to observe.   The teacher reported when I picked junior up that the day was perfect - which was great to hear.

We were looking forward to today but instead we are home sick.  I was woken up at 3 am because junior had a nightmare, he then started complaining that his head hurt and I realized he was burning up.   Temperature over 100, it has since dropped but not back to normal so rest and relaxation it is.

I guess this is part of parenthood.   Other welcome to parenthood moments of the past few weeks:

• Temper tantrum when trying to get up and out the door. 
• Being accidentally elbowed in the face when trying to put him down to bed.
• Pee, poop and vomit in the bathtub.  

Lessons Learned

I have been a mom for 9 days and have learned quite a bit in that time.  Here is just a sampling:

• Bathtime is hard.  Baths are generally too short, I use the wrong shampoo, or sometimes even the wrong tub.   
• Bedtime is harder.    Every night he wants to sleep in our bed.  This is not an option. 
• Paddy is finally learning to play fetch by watching us play football in the back yard.   
• It is hard playing football with my son and fetch with Paddy at the same time. 
• Band aids make everything better. 
• Junior is super smart.  He quickly learned that we write down things we need to buy at the store on a chalk board.  He has written down a Lego batmobile and washcloths as apparently we do not have enough of these.  
• I need to figure out more creative ways to say no. 
• It is very difficult to hear some of the things he has to say.   I imagine this is only going to get harder as he learns to trust us more and shares more.
• I'm a little jealous that he seems to be calling Dave "dad" periodically but I'm still not mom.   
• Spontaneous hugs are awesome.  We don't get them frequently but when we do they rock.  
• He takes after me in that he loves photography. Here is a photo he took on our first family vacation.  
  

4 days In

We have had a small child living in the house with us since Monday evening.  The move-in went very smoothly.  Three cars and we had bunk beds, a dresser and all of juniors belongings.  If we didn't buy the bed from the previous family we likely could have managed in 1 car but the bedroom set is great.  

Day one the top bunk was requested but since then he has used the bottom bunk.  Mostly because when he is on the bottom bunk I can get into bed with him and cuddle as he goes to sleep.   Some of the most touching conversations have occurred as he falls asleep.  He shares his fears and hopes with me.   This little boy definitely has my heart.  

Tuesday was junior's 6th birthday, I took the day off and we spent the day together as a family.  A visit to Build-A-Bear resulted in a Batman bear that now lives with us.   We had pizza twice and the day ended with a vanilla and strawberry cake.  

We have all been adjusting to life as a family.  There is lots of learning to do and we are setting up routines.   We are learning what he likes and what he doesn't.   He is learning to trust us and feel safe. We are trying to explain the difference between needs and wants.  Junior needs fall and winter clothes, he says he needs a lego batmobile.   We feel that is more of want - but we have ordered it anyways.   This kid loves legos and we thought he had a bunch but he doesn't.   He does have a lot of remote control cars but those only entertain him for so long.  

Dave & I have been touched by the numerous messages and gifts from friends and family near and far; old and new. This has been such an emotional time and getting the words of encouragement, texts, phone calls, well wishes, etc are simply amazing.  We have definitely felt the love from all of you and words really can't express how thankful and appreciative we are.


Junior wants me to say:  "Batman teddy bear I love you."   jufdhtrtefrtrerter\bfbvvgvcffftfgfgfdtdrdfdes

Metamorphosis

When junior asked for a gold Spiderman room I was at a loss.   Spiderman is blue and red how on earth is this going to work.  The more I thought about it  plan started to come together.  Sometimes the ideas in my head don't work out the way I envision them but in this case it did.  Thanks to the wonders of Etsy I was able to make his dream a reality.  Well we won't know until Monday if it matches what he wants but I sure hope so.  

A few weeks ago this was my office.  

Over the span of a week I slowly moved everything out 

We had the room painted gold with red trim

Wall decals from Etsy complete the transformation.

Funny story about the large personalized spidey decal.   I ordered it in the morning and then that afternoon we realized that we had been spelling junior's name wrong.   Oops.   Luckily I was able to contact the seller just in time to make the correction.  

Random Drunk Musings From An Airport

OK I'm not really drunk but I am drinking at the airport.  I am curious it this will result in more random Google search hits.  

• Today I am completing my last business trip before junior moves in.    And this may be the last trip of the year.   The sad part is that this means I won't hit gold on United this year.   Yeah, I know first world problems.    I will likely end the year with a little over 40K miles which is still a whole lot of miles.    
• Conversation between Dave & I this week
• Dave:  I have a dentist appointment on Thursday at 9, should we leave the door open for the handyman. 
• Me:  Um   what are you going to do with junior?  Is he going to sit in the waiting room.  
• Dave:   Oh good point, maybe I should reschedule.   
• Life is clearly going to be changing for us. 
• Why don't all schools offer full day K?   The idea of half day perplexes me.    We are trying to figure out if we can get junior into the closed full day program at our school.    Luckily we have others advocating on his behalf.  
• This is our last weekend as DINKS (dual income no kids).   We are spending it by visiting my 45th state - Oklahoma!   Isn't that what everybody does before they become parents. 
• Why don't family therapists return phone calls?
• MMMM margaritas are tasty. Do I have to stop drinking margaritas when I become a mom? 
• OMG I'm gonna be a mom next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (those added exclamations points are for Dave as he really likes lots of !!!!!!!!! in sentences).